Fear of Failing

Fear…Fear of failing in my 3rd attempt with this pendant kept me from moving forward for weeks.  

This particular piece, ‘Into The Light’ holds such powerful emotional connections for me, and I feared that if I messed it up again, a third time, I wouldn’t have the confidence to attempt a fourth time.  If I didn’t try (if the pendant just stayed there, in limbo), I couldn’t fail.  

So, the partially finished pendant, gold bezel, ammolite stone and wire pieces stayed on the workbench for weeks, together but not yet joined.  

As I began and finished other designs, my ‘unfinished business’ and its requisite parts kept me company on the bench as did the 2nd casting that had ended in a depressingly fused mess of silver and gold: both were reminders of possibilities and failures.

My emotional connections to this piece, all that inspired it and that I hoped to inspire with it, finally brought me back to where I could find the courage to try again.  The piece was too important and deeply meaningful to be abandoned.  I just had to find another way, understand where my previous mistakes had been made and move more slowly and precisely this time.  

And so, as I wait for my custom metal stamp before I set the ammolite in the pendant, there is a sense of completeness and gratitude for finding my way back, past the failures and the fears and ‘Into The Light” again.

My workbench is so much more than a place of creation. It has been transformed into a space for life lessons and self-reflection.